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Literature Text
1) I cannot buy ponies while in war.
2) Even if ponies are amazing.
3) People will get very mad at you.
4) I can't tell England my unicorn is better than his
5) Even if it's true.
6) I cannot be intimidated by Germany.
7) Germany's just a jerk.
8) Everything he does is mean.
9) I hate him.
10) Even if he kissed me…
11) Then again,
12) He was drunk.
13) He tasted like beer.
14) I like beer.
15) I cannot let people insult how I dress.
16) I can dress however the hell I want!
17) Hungary says I'm manlier than Germany for dressing the way I do.
18) Germany could never pull off a dress.
19) He just can't.
20) I cannot be intimidated by Russia.
21) He's not that scary.
22) One day, I'm going to save Liet from that guy.
23) He's just like Germany.
24) A jerk.
25) Why is everyone scared of that guy, anyway?
26) He looks cuddly.
27) Not evil.
28) Then again, there's his past,
29) And his reputation for beating people.
30) Oh well.
31) I cannot wear my dresses to meetings.
32) France will get that look on his face.
33) Then I'll have to kick his ass.
34) In front of everyone.
35) That'll just embarrass France.
36) If he does come after me, that embarrassment is on him.
37) When all else fails, just buy the pony.
38) That's when we say "Screw rule #1!"
39) I cannot pull on Italy's hair curl.
40) Or Romano's.
41) They make funny sounds.
42) And Germany will get mad.
43) Again.
44) Then I'll have to own his ass.
45) With words.
46) If that doesn't work, I'll make his capital Warsaw.
47) Same goes for France.
48) If he tries to grope me.
49) I cannot ask to do China's hair.
50) He'll get like, mad.
51) He says he likes his hair in that ponytail.
52) But he just has great long hair.
53) There are so many possibilities…
54) And yet he won't let me touch it.
55) That's fine.
56) He just doesn't want to look totally fabulous.
57) Like me.
58) I cannot ask Liet to do his hair either.
59) I'll just do it anyway.
60) Even if he says no.
61) I cannot boast about my favorite color.
62) It's pink.
63) Everyone else thinks that's stupid.
64) Since I'm a guy.
65) I think pink is totally manly.
66) And so are ponies.
67) They're like, all just a bunch of wimps.
68) And pussies.
69) Especially Germany. (This number totally makes me like, giggle!)
70) I cannot tell Liet when I'm helping him out of Russia's house.
71) He'll get like, totally scared and not want to leave.
72) He says Russia will totally come after him.
73) With like, a pipe.
74) I am not scared of his damned pipe!
75) I will make his capital Warsaw!
76) I cannot blame Liet for totally getting mad at me when I mention his situation.
77) He says it's my fault.
78) Even though I can get him out of there.
79) I cannot ask Liet to put him in a dress.
80) He knows I'll do it anyway.
81) Or I'll make his capital Warsaw.
82) I cannot show my awesome pony to France and England.
83) They'll totally try to leave.
84) Then succeed.
85) I cannot make England too angry.
86) He'll get mad and like, curse me or something.
87) Then I'll have to make his capital Warsaw.
88) Then he'll be like, totally sorry he cursed me.
89) I just don't wanna go through that hassle.
90) I cannot invite everyone to go to my house for a slumber party.
91) Even though it would be like, totally awesome.
92) We could do each other's hair!
93) And give makeovers!
94) I'm sure half of them won't like that though…
95) Oh well!
96) If they object, I'll totally make their capital Warsaw.
97) Easy as that.
98) Do not say stuff like, "totally," and "like."
99) It makes everybody like, mad.
100) Like, totally.
2) Even if ponies are amazing.
3) People will get very mad at you.
4) I can't tell England my unicorn is better than his
5) Even if it's true.
6) I cannot be intimidated by Germany.
7) Germany's just a jerk.
8) Everything he does is mean.
9) I hate him.
10) Even if he kissed me…
11) Then again,
12) He was drunk.
13) He tasted like beer.
14) I like beer.
15) I cannot let people insult how I dress.
16) I can dress however the hell I want!
17) Hungary says I'm manlier than Germany for dressing the way I do.
18) Germany could never pull off a dress.
19) He just can't.
20) I cannot be intimidated by Russia.
21) He's not that scary.
22) One day, I'm going to save Liet from that guy.
23) He's just like Germany.
24) A jerk.
25) Why is everyone scared of that guy, anyway?
26) He looks cuddly.
27) Not evil.
28) Then again, there's his past,
29) And his reputation for beating people.
30) Oh well.
31) I cannot wear my dresses to meetings.
32) France will get that look on his face.
33) Then I'll have to kick his ass.
34) In front of everyone.
35) That'll just embarrass France.
36) If he does come after me, that embarrassment is on him.
37) When all else fails, just buy the pony.
38) That's when we say "Screw rule #1!"
39) I cannot pull on Italy's hair curl.
40) Or Romano's.
41) They make funny sounds.
42) And Germany will get mad.
43) Again.
44) Then I'll have to own his ass.
45) With words.
46) If that doesn't work, I'll make his capital Warsaw.
47) Same goes for France.
48) If he tries to grope me.
49) I cannot ask to do China's hair.
50) He'll get like, mad.
51) He says he likes his hair in that ponytail.
52) But he just has great long hair.
53) There are so many possibilities…
54) And yet he won't let me touch it.
55) That's fine.
56) He just doesn't want to look totally fabulous.
57) Like me.
58) I cannot ask Liet to do his hair either.
59) I'll just do it anyway.
60) Even if he says no.
61) I cannot boast about my favorite color.
62) It's pink.
63) Everyone else thinks that's stupid.
64) Since I'm a guy.
65) I think pink is totally manly.
66) And so are ponies.
67) They're like, all just a bunch of wimps.
68) And pussies.
69) Especially Germany. (This number totally makes me like, giggle!)
70) I cannot tell Liet when I'm helping him out of Russia's house.
71) He'll get like, totally scared and not want to leave.
72) He says Russia will totally come after him.
73) With like, a pipe.
74) I am not scared of his damned pipe!
75) I will make his capital Warsaw!
76) I cannot blame Liet for totally getting mad at me when I mention his situation.
77) He says it's my fault.
78) Even though I can get him out of there.
79) I cannot ask Liet to put him in a dress.
80) He knows I'll do it anyway.
81) Or I'll make his capital Warsaw.
82) I cannot show my awesome pony to France and England.
83) They'll totally try to leave.
84) Then succeed.
85) I cannot make England too angry.
86) He'll get mad and like, curse me or something.
87) Then I'll have to make his capital Warsaw.
88) Then he'll be like, totally sorry he cursed me.
89) I just don't wanna go through that hassle.
90) I cannot invite everyone to go to my house for a slumber party.
91) Even though it would be like, totally awesome.
92) We could do each other's hair!
93) And give makeovers!
94) I'm sure half of them won't like that though…
95) Oh well!
96) If they object, I'll totally make their capital Warsaw.
97) Easy as that.
98) Do not say stuff like, "totally," and "like."
99) It makes everybody like, mad.
100) Like, totally.
Literature
100 things America has to do
DISCLAIMER: I do not own America (Alfred), or Hetalia in any way.
Somewhat inspired by shinigamikarasu's 100 things Japan CANNOT do.
100 things America has to do
1. Stop yelling "pew pew" in the middle of meetings
2. It ticks the other nations off
3. Especially Iggy-chan :heart:
4. Burn item 3.
5. Then swallow it...
6. Never talk about the cold war in front of Russia
7. Especially if he has his pipe
8. And I don't have my saw...
9. Remember the country on top of mine's name...
10. I think it started with a "c"
11. Or was it a bear...?
12. Buy more hamburgers
13. Get the other countries to eat my cake
14. WHAT THE HELL IS THE P
Literature
50 Things I Cannot Do To....... PRUSSIA
1. I mustn't fry Gilibird
2. Even though he would probably have been tasty
4. I mustn't show Prussia any Germancest yaoi pictures
5. Even though he would appreciate them more than Germany would
6. I mustn't constantly talk about the fact that Hungary is female around Prussia
7. I mustn't get Prussia drunk
8. I mustn't get drunk with Prussia
9. I mustn't keep reminding Prussia that technically he isn't a country anymore
10. I mustn't read Prussia's awesome diary
11. I mustn't read Prussia's awesome blog
12. I mustn't purposely look for Prussia's Teutonic knights outfit
13. After I have finished not looking for said outfit
Literature
100 things Sealand can't do.
Due to that bastard brows, Jerkland Kirkface, I had to create this completely fucking pointless list of things that that git thinks I will no longer be allowed to do.
I will be helping him write this, I assure you. I am not a complete idiot.
As if I'd take any sort of instructions from that Englishman.
1.)I am not longer allowed to refer to him as Bastard brows.
2) Or bacon brows, even though he let's Gilbert call him that.
3) And even though it is the truest statement, in the history of, like, ever, I am not allowed to call him Jerkland.
4) He says my personal vendetta against him should not be taken out on his people.
5) Even though
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Hetalia does not belong to me!
I only made the lols!
Here's Poland's version!!
I only made the lols!
Here's Poland's version!!
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